How do you fix something society says isn’t broken? It takes a little digging to get that deep within yourself, to the heart of your feelings, and to the root of your purpose. That is where this story begins…
From an early age my Mom helped me tune in to my intuition. Amidst all the outside noise and chaos there was always this feeling that guided me, that guides us all. It’s the voice that tells you to be who you are, even if it means not fitting in with the “norm”. It’s the impulse to do the things that feel the best and come most naturally to you. That’s where our gifts are hidden, in our pure and utter uniqueness.
So as I go through life, I follow my inner knowing. It has taken me to some crazy places: a Berber camp in the middle of the Sahara and a Yoga Teacher Training at the base of the Himalayas, to name a couple. As you can probably imagine, most people I know and love, especially in my younger years, did everything they could to convince me NOT to listen when they found out where my heart was taking me. After all, what business does a 5 foot tall girl in her early twenties have out there in the world, all by herself? “They” respond, “None!” and my heart responds with a smirk, not having skipped a beat, “It is the business of your life.”
Everywhere I go, all my senses are attuned to one thing: Raw, Real Life. It comes in endless colors, smells, and fashions, but it always feels the same in my gut when I encounter it. So I bounce between moments with my heart open and my signal on, waiting for a match in vibrational frequency. Waiting for truth that aligns with me. It’s funny, because I’ve found it almost everywhere I’ve practiced patients for long enough. I’ve found it amongst a group of Earthship volunteers in Puerto Rico, I’ve found it in a front yard garden bed in Central Phoenix, and I’ve found it places in between. What I’ve learned is that this sanctuary of authenticity and honesty is everywhere, it just needs to be cultivated.
So was I being totally authentic? Was I living my truth, functioning in integrity? I needed to peel back layers to see, starting with the outermost, the superficial. So I began with my daily routines, my moments, because our moments really are our days, and our days really are our life. How was I spending them? Where was I putting my energy? What were my habits, my practices? From the moment I open my eyes, what do I do? I became the observer of myself and as I awoke one morning I watched as I checked my phone, worried about the day, and took a birth control pill… I was immediately halted by my misalignments. This was a reckoning between my current self and my ideal self, and since I could not build a life of fulfilling purpose on an unhealthy foundation, I got to work on my mediocrity.
The good thing about starting with the tiny details is that they are more or less manageable. Slowly, surely, and steadily morning meditations and mindfulness practices took the place of stress and worry. Deep breaths and nature filled the space my phone addiction once did. I ditched the synthetic hormones and discovered that food, herbs, connection, and energy could be my medicine, and this is when things really started taking flight.
It turns out, “they” were wrong, sensitivity is not a weakness at all, and throughout this process, I actually found it to be my biggest strength. The more sensitive I was to certain foods or situations, the more I learned about my existence. Soon I became an interpreter, decoding my symptoms and learning the language of my body. For me, these symptoms showed up in all kinds of ways: acne, missing periods, migraines, digestive issues, depression, weight gain, and so much more. As I read, researched, and studied I uncovered the root cause of each symptom and slowly the process of healing blossomed into something beautiful.
Deep down my body and soul knew it had showed up on this planet with everything it needed, either encased inside itself or alive in nature already. It was just a matter of getting my mind on the same page. Once my mind was on the page, it couldn’t stop reading the book! It was from this place of wholeness that I discovered farming, permaculture, and herbalism, and now the adventure is surely beginning. The truth is, I never needed to go out looking for my purpose, I just needed to realize it holistically- in body, mind, and soul. Everyday I ask myself- what is more important, nourishing your soul or societies expectations?
Making more time for life, in life, is a practice. Slowing down is a practice. Honoring the planet is a practice. Doing your Heart’s Work is a practice.
Sit with yourself.
Sit with yourself for long enough to become still and quiet.
Become so still and quiet, you forget about all the noise and clutter of the outer world.
Forget about all the noise and clutter of the outer world for long enough to hear the whispers of your heart and to feel the yearnings of your soul. Hear the whispers of your heart and feel the yearnings of your soul for long enough to accept them as truth. Align with your truth so much so you are compelled to act in it daily.